My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize