You just made me feel so damn special
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
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tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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