worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
FUCK WHALES
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
