He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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