I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm sobbing to NWA
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
