No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
The beer is more important than you right now.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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