What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
