No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
