Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
