Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
The maid of honor just puked.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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