Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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