That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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