"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
