I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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