Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
