Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
