You can't special order awesome
Small penises have feelings too.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
