Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
