I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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