My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
