I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize
