Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
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my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
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Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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