Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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