Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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