def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
