i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
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