I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
