my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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