I'm jealous of your bromance
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
