This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
