you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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