i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
COCAINE IS GR8
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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