even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
