Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
