I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
