So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
