do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
