just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
