laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Do you remember whose house we're in?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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