The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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