U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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