I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I pour the whiskey from now on
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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