Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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