My hair reeks of homosexuality.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
