I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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