Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
