it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
