Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
