Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
