I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
