mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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