you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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