She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
