On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
