It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
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