I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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