the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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