Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
